Top 4 Annoying things Applicants do During an Interview

Since majority of the schools have finished conducting their graduation ceremonies, companies are flooded with fresh graduates looking for their first jobs.

In an attempt to help graduates land their dream jobs, I put together a list of four annoying things that applicants do during an interview.

I hope that after going through this list, you as a fresh graduate, will not repeat the same actions undertaken by these people.

Heavy name dropping

Yes, I know your family name may carry a lot of weight in government or the private sector. But let’s be clear, it’s because your father or mother passed his or her interview decades ago and built the very empire you brandishing at this interview.

The problem with name dropping is that it tells me you have absolutely no skills that can help this company other than, perhaps, to use you as a conduit to tap into your family’s influence.

Your problem is that our company also has a big family name backing it. So no matter how long or how exotic your family name is, you aren’t going to pass this interview by brandishing the credentials of your parents.

It’s too bad though. Had you just kept silent and presented your own accomplishments, instead of someone else’s, you actually had a very good chance of passing this interview and getting hired. At this point of the interview I’m actually thinking about contacting your father or mother and hiring them instead.

So thank you for your time,. You can now go home to daddy or mommy and enjoy your family’s wealth. I hope you know how to save money because after your parents pass away, I doubt you’ll be able to carry the same influence they had.

[Whoopee!]

People who act like they don’t want to be there

I had to wake up very early in the morning to brave horrendous traffic just to get to work on time. I haven’t had breakfast or my morning coffee because I was in such a rush to get here before the first applicant arrives. Hours later, I end up skipping lunch and am on my 35th applicant, which happens to be you.

Walking so slowly after your name is called, it’s like you don’t want to enter my room. You don’t smile and look distracted. And when answering questions, the dead have more enthusiasm than you do.

You’re obviously sending me signals that you don’t want to be in this interview, so I’ll oblige. This interview is over and you can go back to being unhappy and unemployed.

[Have a nice day.]

Growing Boogers

I recently interviewed an applicant with a booger the size of a golf ball. With nostrils big enough to swallow his overly large thumb all the way to the base, it is no surprise that a booger of that size was just lying there.

And since it was so big, it is downright impossible for the applicant not to know it was in his nose. Apart from being heavy, he probably couldn’t breath through that nostril at all.

To be honest, I really don’t know why someone would keep such a large booger around. Perhaps it acts like a cork to prevent the brain from falling out. Perhaps the person would like it to grow to the size of an ostrich egg so he can harvest it then sell it on the booger black market. Or maybe he just wants to flash it to interviewers in an attempt to elicit some form of booger envy. I don’t know.

All I know is that as I conduct the interview I worry that if the applicant sneezes hard, it’ll fly out like a cannonball and knock me out of the room.

[Medic!]

Looking at their friend for answers

Since majority of students apply in groups, the most annoying thing they do is to keep turning to their friends before answering questions.

I can sympathize with you if the question asked requires the applicant to compute the gravitational effect of the moon on the Earth’s tides and how it will ultimately result in fatter crabs. But it can be downright annoying when it is just a simple question asking why you chose your college course.

If you are going to keep turning to your friend for answers, like a puppy does for approval, perhaps I should interview your friend instead. Since he or she has the answers I am looking for, he or she will probably be a better than a mindless dog.

[Arf!]

Final Thoughts

And there you have it, four of the most annoying things that applicants do when they are being interviewed. I hope that when it is your turn, you keep these in mind so you don’t blow your chances of getting hired.