Kiwi Dragon
Notes: All stock and art created by, Tom Lupton; Poem by Steve Lupton, his brother, and Ketchup Caedo, their cousin. Additional comments in and after the poem by Prince, the Lupton family dog.
I crawled through the forest on my Kiwi Dragon
I had to because I forgot my wagon
Without me knowing
He didn’t know where we were going
It was a long walk
I had to cover its mouth because it likes to talk
He talks and walks when he’s lost —
So I had to shut him up at any cost!
Suddenly he began choking
It was horrible, I’m not joking
He swallowed his rope
And when dragons swallow, there’s no hope
I hit his back, I pulled his tongue!
He can’t die, he’s much too young!
There are mountains to climb and valleys to roam!
Besides that, we’re so far from home!
Suddenly arrows flew in from nowhere
From dragon hunters who didn’t care
I yelled, “Don’t shoot, we come in peace!
“Don’t kill my dragon, he’s on a leash!”
A hunter said, “Forgive us, I’m not a jerk
“We’re trying to save the dragon from all that work.”
I said, “He’s not working, you should know.
“He can barely walk and he’s so slow.”
He asked, “Why are you hitting his back?”
“To remove the rope but it’s strength I lack.”
He said, “Then let us try together.
“And if it doesn’t work we’ll have dragon leather.”
So we pulled the rope again and again
We thought it would die and, suddenly, then…
I noticed that everyone was beginning to tire
So I kicked Kiwi in the stomach… and he coughed fire!
The rope caught fire, and burned into ash
(So did a hunter but we put it out with a splash)
Kiwi coughed, panted and winced…
Like a dog (or so says Prince)
Kiwi said, “Thanks for saving my life.
“I noticed you were about to sharpen your knife.
“To cut me up into wallets, or worse
“…to make me into a giant purse.”
I said, “I wish you weren’t so slow
“I need to get to Diamond Mountain don’t you know?”
Kiwi said, “All you had to do was just say!”
And he spread his wings and we flew away.
Ketchup’s Continuation:
So from Diamond Mountain I then said
“Let’s go home, Kiwi. It’s time for bed”
Kiwi spreads his wings to fly.
And fly we did, towards the sky.
As we were flying up up and away
It seemed that we were going the wrong way.
I told Kiwi to stop and turn around.
And to please fly closer to the ground.
But Kiwi was juiced and all pumped up
In his dragon way he said “I won’t want stop.
“No stop. No Stop. Stop flying I won’t want.”
You see, dragonspeak is kinda redundant
“Some more fly and fly some more
Into the heavens I will soar soar soar.”
So Kiwi flew with me on his back
The sound of his wings going WHICKETY WHAAACK WHAACK
And flew he did in a vertical climb
until we’re in the dimension of space time
Now we’re in the dark, vastness of space
I’m thinking: “My Mom is so gonna be on my case.”
Yet Kiwi Dragon flaps his wings in mid-flight
Faster and faster reaching the speed of light
Then I see where he wants to go.
That can’t be the place… “Oh Dear!” “Oh No!”
From afar it looks like a great big bowl.
I know from its looks, that it’s a black hole.
But how can I stop this fire breathing dragon?
How I wish I just used my trusty old wagon.
He can breathe fire and singe off my face.
But wait. He can’t. There’s no oxygen in space.
I hit his back, I pulled on his tongue!
I can’t die, I’m much too young!
I pull on the reins trying my hardest to steer.
Then Kiwi says: “Fear not. Fear not. You not have fear.”
I give in. I sit back. I relax in the saddle
As Kiwi flies in. Into the dark tunnel.
Out the other side of the hole we traversed.
It was a strange world; with the Physics reversed.
Before I could open my mouth to speak
Kiwi landed near an upside down creek.
He looked at me and in his Dragonspeak said:
“Home Kiwi now home. Bed Kiwi now bed.
________
Comment: “It lacks dog jokes.”
– Prince
Comment: Kiwi Dragons don’t have wings.
– Tom