The Real 80s Baby, Part 1 – How to Spot a Real One

If you are in your 40s, chances are you are someone who grew up in the 1980s. But then there are 80s babies and there are 80s BABIES.

I put together a list that will reveal the true purists over those who merely coasted through the 80s below.

You are a real 80s BABY if:

• You think that a Boat Shoe should come in just two single colors: Dark Blue or Dark Brown
• You match the colors of all your leather accessories, going as far as to use a single shade for your shoes, belt, and watch
• You curse the day shoe makers phased out the original Penny Loafer
• You insist that pleats be sewn in to your pants by your tailor
• Semi-formal for you means leather shoes, slacks, a long-sleeved shirt, a blazer, and a tie
• You think wearing socks with Sperry Top-Siders will cause World War Three
•  You were shocked to see that Rick Astley was white
• You only pair your white socks and sneakers with walking shorts
• You keep a copy of Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone in the car in case you feel the need, the need for speed
• You wear Ralph Lauren Polo or Drakkar Noir

So, what if your friend passed this test with flying colors?

Well, if he happens to think that rap is cool, loves Koreanovelas, and enjoys tagolog-dubbed cartoons, he’s busted!

So send your friend packing to the 1990s or 2000s, because he definitely ain’t a real 80s baby!

Now if you still have doubts about your friend being a real 80s baby, check out my next article: The Real 80s Baby, Part 2 – How to Spot a Fake One as it’s out already!