Annoying Habits Part 4 – Elevators

Elevators were designed to help ferry people up and down a structure. With the ever-increasing height of buildings, it has become more of a necessity than a convenience. But in the wrong hands, the elevator can turn out to be a place of torture.

The person who blocks the entrance

There are two types of people here. The first is the guy who rushes in as soon as the doors open. Never mind the fact that there isn’t any space to squeeze in to and that people can’t get out. This guy is just focused on getting in first. The second type is the passenger who stands in the middle of the pathway, not budging from his spot even if people can’t get through.

Look people, I know you just can’t get enough of elevators. Perhaps you revel in the mirrored walls, faux marble flooring, or dull elevator music so much that you want to spend all your time in it.

Come to think of it, isn’t the area just about the right size of your padded cell in the funny farm? Now I get it, you miss home. On that note, enjoy the elevator and let me off at the next floor.

The person who presses all the buttons

Sure, as kids, we pressed the button for each and every floor at one time or another. And while that may have been annoying to adults back then, they tolerated us because buildings were short. With the advent of 60 to 80-story high buildings, people aren’t as patient anymore. What used to take an extra minute to go through all the floors in that old building, can be the difference between life and a most horrible end.

No one wants to visit each and every floor as you never know who’s going to get in our elevator. But if the Grim Reaper happens to enter on the 13th floor and gets irritated with all those pushed buttons, you can bet your sorry soul I’m ratting on you.

The person who lets it rip

I’ve saved the best, or in this case, the worst for last. For those of you who have not had to endure a toxic mix in an elevator, your time will come. Life does not spare anyone from this type of punishment.

This source of torture comes from the guy who decides it is alright to fart in an enclosed space of tightly packed people. Not only is the smell composed of baked beans, pepper, garlic, and other potentially explosive materials, he has the gall to shoot an accusing look at the person beside him after the deed is done. Some of them will even go as far as to yell in order to save themselves.

I lump this type of punishment with the Chinese water torture as its just plain inhuman. It should’ve been covered in the Geneva Convention due to its absolute cruelty.

Now for those of you who think blaming others is a good tactic, remember that “He who smelt it, dealt it.”

With that in mind, if the victims could, they would bottle all that gas and pump it up your nostrils just so you can enjoy your last meal in vapor form. And only then will people in the elevator even consider forgiving you of your transgression.